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Saturday, July 11, 2015

Junior (aka Engine Trouble) Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Stupid shit...stupid shit everywhere.

Review: I don't know about "Engine Trouble," but that's what imdb claims the title is so I'll trust them in this instance. This is the fourth movie from that 8-pack with "Bloody Murder," and, I have to say, this was utterly horrendous. My sister's dogs were fighting and humping one another in front of the screen and that was significantly more entertaining. The film quality looked like it was made for TV in the '80s and the story was laughably moronic. I could feel every...single...torturous second of the running time as if I were a kid waiting for the last day of school to end already. If they at least weren't taking themselves seriously, this could have been entertaining on some, remote level. Instead, I think the creators humorously believed what they were making was actually good. That's really cute.

The story is about two lesbian-ish girls going on a trip or whatever...hell if I know. They come across a guy who has embraced his mentally disabled son's killer tendencies. I don't know who the fuck is on the poster for this shit, but that's certainly not who we see; he specifically wields a sickle in the film as well. The killer jumps around like he's Darth Maul or something as he slices and dices the main girl's "friend" along with random idiots used to boost the kill count. Everything looks and feel like pure shit with half the movie taking place in a shaking car. Hey, if the car's rockin', don't come knockin'! After the killer's dad captures the main girl, she is chained up as an offering for his birthday. Through shenanigans, the main girl tricks the killer into thinking she's his mom and gets him to betray his dad. The main girl then kills the killer in the most drawn out fashion possible. Before the idiotic main girl can escape she is killed by the dad who presumably takes over the killing duties permanently. The end.

Uggghhh...this was painful to behold. Movies this stupid will put you on suicide watch that's for sure. While it's not technically as bad as the likes of "Howling 7" and "Asian School Girls," it is way more boring. The only reasons I'm rating it a tad higher than that level of trash is due to a few acceptable effects and they had the bad guys win. Pretty much anything you can imagine that takes up time from your life, you would be better off doing that instead of watching this movie. 'Nuff said.

Notable Moment: The main girl is in the car. She receives a phone call from her friend who is screaming and dies immediately afterward. The friend's head then rolls off the roof. All of this supposedly happens without the main girl hearing it. There is also no sounds or commotion related to this death nor any conceivable explanation for how the killer and friend got on top of the car without being seen. If that weren't dumb enough, there is a sun roof open too. My...fucking...goodness...

Final Rating: 2/10

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