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Monday, December 21, 2015

Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: You know the routine at this point...another family starts recording--you guessed it--paranormal activity.

Review: I wanted to review this film when it came out, but, as it turns out, this is actually a Christmas movie. They also advertised this as the last entry, but will it truly be over? I don't know, but I can tell you this wraps up absolutely nothing! The only thing you will learn from this movie is what was Toby's endgame for the franchise...which has got to be one of the dumbest schemes ever depicted. Like, the plan is so unbelievably ridiculous and preposterous my mind is having difficulty comprehending the sheer implausibility of it all. Other than that fiasco, this is business as usual for the franchise. Eh, it's better than shit like part 2 or "Tokyo Night" but nowhere near part 1 or 3. Honestly, what was anyone expecting at this point?

First I will explain how this entry connects to the overall plot and then I'll run down Toby's moronic plan. So...it's Christmas 2013 as a new family, 3 years prior, moved into Katie and Kristi's grandma's house. They conveniently stumble across an old box that contains VHS tapes that cover various segments of part 3 and the following years. Along with the tapes is an old camcorder that has been modified to show, what I'm guessing is, the ghost dimension...because reasons. At this point, the little girl of the family immediately starts to see Toby and communicate with him--seemingly possessed to some degree. We see much of the same shenanigans we are used to in this franchise except now we see Toby who appears to be made of chocolate fudge. I'm glad they cleared that up since I was craving brownies. Despite hard evidence that crazy shit is happening, no one really does anything above and beyond the actions of previous characters. Toward the end, some priest does help them perform an exorcism that doesn't defeat Toby. All it does is make Toby's CGI go apeshit as he kills everyone except the mom and possessed little girl. These two escape through a magic portal that leads to 1992. I'm not making this up...bear with me here. The mom runs into Katie and Kristi, as young girls still, who explain that Toby now has a physical body. We only see Toby's legs as he picks up the mom, kills her, and roll credits. Sigh.

Toby's ingenious plan: make deal with useless flunkies from a witch coven. Groom brainwashed children to bear you yet more children. Seek out specific male baby from one witch's family tree by possessing the mom of said child. Fail at this task and pointlessly possess the sister in order to steal male baby physically. Give male baby up for adoption and let him age to a young boy for the lulz. Kill adoptive family so that you can claim their virgin daughter as a sacrifice for the boy. Now, send boy back in time to 1992 to hang out with his mom and aunt, when they were children, for the extra lulz! Okay, now you seek out a female child, despite having many already at your disposal, except you do none of the things you did with the boy. Screw with this girl's family until she is sent back in time to 1992. Take blood from the boy and girl and VOILA! you've got yourself a human body...somehow. Finally, you profit. REALLY?! This is what shit you give us?!

How exactly does this time paradox work anyway? So human Toby is running around while demon Toby is doing stupid shit? If he already knows how these events turn out, why did he fail the initial possession of Kristi? What is the connection to 1992? Toby has been running around for 23 years now and hasn't done shit? Wouldn't Toby's actions post-1992 have a chance to fuck up the timeline? If Katie and Kristi remember a fire in 1992, what was the point of letting them live normal lives after this? Who was this guy doing all the brainwashing? Let's assume "grandma" wasn't even a family member, and every character in this franchise has been brainwashed, how do they find these people and pull this nonsense off? What was the point of the magic camera if everyone connected to Toby can already see him? Why does Toby have to keep amassing power to act...didn't he already do it enough like 5 times? What happened to Katie? Why is having a physical body better than possessing someone? I could keep this up all day...fuck this shit!

Time travel, man...time travel. Remember when this franchise was simply supposed to be about a realistic haunting? Look, this isn't as bad as you would imagine until the ending rolls around. I was enjoying it up until the last 10 minutes or so despite the inherent flaws with all these sequels. However, it's hard to deny how outlandish this plot line has become, and I wouldn't blame anyone for avoiding this shit like the plague. The Christmas angle helps make it more enjoyable this time of year, but it might come off as a cheap ploy to add padding to the story. If you've been following all the sequels up to this point you might still get something from this. On the other hand, this might be what kills it for you.

Notable Moment: When we see the ghostly Santa. Umm...who was that exactly? They didn't give the impression that was Toby so...

Final Rating: 5/10

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