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Friday, April 10, 2020

The Twilight Zone: Rod Serling's Lost Classics Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Two old scripts written by Rod Serling that were adapted for TV in the '90s.

Review: In fairness, only one of these "lost classics" could be considered a TZ episode; that being the first segment. The second segment doesn't really fit the design of a TZ episode which is why many say it's closer to an episode of "Night Gallery." Nevertheless, how do these tales stack up against the series proper? Well, they're nothing to write home about and would have been considered middle of the road to me. It's not that they're bad stories--they're just on the boring side with nothing unique to them. Both tales tackle subjects discussed in previous episodes that were done better then. Still, there is some entertainment to be had so let's take a look, shall we?

The Theatre: This story does feel TZ-ish so it does have that going for it. A woman, named Melissa, fears getting married to her doctor fiance for whatever reason. The significance of this plot point appears relevant, but I'm just not seeing it. Melissa makes plans for a movie festival, but, instead of playing the movie, she sees events from her life and the future on the screen. Had this vision of the future connected to her potential marriage then things might have made sense, however, the future depicts her dying in a cartoonish manner in the coming days. Compelled to return to the theater, Melissa sees more of her future until she becomes fearful of her imminent death. But just when you think Melissa is about to die, the events do not occur as shown. Whew. Oh, wait, both our main characters are fucking retards who didn't know what day it was, and the exact same scenario happens again the next night and Melissa does die. Uhhh...okaaaay. Your twist should not hinge on two clueless idiots forgetting what day it is. The story ends with the fiance experiencing the same phenomenon when he goes to the theater. While the conclusion is lackluster, the ambiance to the episode is decent. Plus, the fiance is played by Lumbergh of all people!

Where the Dead Are: For the second story we get an interesting premise, but it meanders about far too long and becomes boring. Some time after the Civil War, a guy named Dr. Ramsey performs surgery on a mysterious man who dies. This man had scars from injuries he couldn't have possibly survived which intrigues Ramsey to find the doctor that treated him. Heading off to a creepy island, Ramsey discovers the townsfolk here are being kept immortal by a doctor named Wheaton. It would appear Wheaton has discovered the literal cure for death, however, this has made the islanders evil as they never want to die and are dependent on this miracle cure. In fact, they have cut off Wheaton's legs so he can't escape. This reveal of the cut off legs was done poorly. This plot point bothered me since they make up an excuse for the cutoff legs at first when they could have easily said Wheaton was wheelchair-bound without explanation; it really took away the impact later.

Well, contrivances abound as Ramsey showed up just in time for this entire immortality scheme to come crumbling down. It actually kind of makes Ramsey's involvement irrelevant. In fact, it makes you question why that first guy even showed up at Ramsey's hospital considering the islanders want to be near Wheaton. What an oversight. Anyway, the islanders all die without this miracle cure, Wheaton dies, and we come to realize that Ramsey's love interest was also staying alive from this miraculous formula. In the end, Ramsey realizes that death is an important part of life that he must accept, and that people are better off never knowing what happened. Eh, this story would have been better had Ramsey set the events into motion rather than showing up at just the right time. I mean, had he showed up a week later everyone on the island probably would have been dead anyhow.

Having reviewed every episode of the original series for perspective, I can't imagine these tales would have been received any better if made during the show's initial run. Granted, the '60's budget limits could have led to changes for the better, but we will never know how they would have looked if filmed at that time. I do think hardcore fans should give this movie a view but keep the expectations in check. Casual viewers will probably be disappointed since this isn't even a true anthology movie.

Notable Moment: When Melissa is having burger time. Mmmmm...burger time...

Final Rating: 5.5/10

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