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Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers Review


Check out my updated review here! https://thevagrantrises.blogspot.com/2018/10/updated-review-22-halloween-curse-of.html

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Michael Myers is back chasing some baby for whatever reason as he feels inclined to kill members of the Strode family occupying his childhood home.

Review: Ugh, what a total mess. It should come as no shock that there are actually two versions of this piece of crap since this thing went through heavy editing; too bad it still sucked either way. After part five, I suppose they painted themselves into a corner as far as story could go so they figured, what the hell, let's go the sci-fi/fantasy route and ditch this horror thing. There are so many poor decisions here accompanied by flat out stupidity. First mistake, killing off the Jamie character in the opening act! After having a character at the center for two entries, they decide to replace the actress (how dare they replace Danielle Harris! Grr!), kill her off meaninglessly, never truly explain what happened to her, and then idiotically imply Michael impregnated her! Well since they closed up most of the loose ends from part five 10 minutes in, I guess they figured let's give Michael some stupid baby to chase after, right? Oh wait, can't fill a whole movie with Michael chasing an immobile baby can we? I know, let's bring back some old characters and call it "Halloween." Mistake number two: the characters. The main character (I think) is supposed to be Tommy from the first film while he teams up with some other members of the Strode family who are living in Michael's old house. Tommy is obsessed with Michael for some odd reason and since it is conveniently Halloween, he must be loving it. Loomis is back from the dead with no explanation and does so little here; it's a shame because this was Donald Pleasence's last film before his death and you can see aspects of the editing hurt by lack of re-shoots. The Strode family is sort of reintroduced yet they seem oblivious to the subject of Laurie and serve as nothing but Michael fodder. There is some dead end plot point about the other lead, Kara Strode, and her son, Danny, apparently hearing voices and kind of becoming like Michael...I guess? It makes no sense and serves no purpose except probably some plan for a sequel that never panned out. The man in black that left everyone speculating after part five is revealed to be some guy named Dr. Wynn at Smith's Grove Sanitarium (where Michael was kept in the original film) who belongs to an idiotic group called the "Cult of Thorn." The biggest mistake of this film was trying to explain Michael and in the dumbest way imaginable! (We'll get back to shitty origins of Michael later in this franchise!) According to this film, that symbol from part five represents the curse of Thorn which causes chaos (where, in the whole world?) unless the curse is passed to an individual who is consumed by the curse and must offer their family as a sacrifice to ease the suffering. Therefore, Michael is nothing more than a cursed individual who must kill his family members to appease some druid demons or some shit like that; this is supposed to explain why Michael doesn't seem to die to anything. Also there is some nonsense about Dr. Wynn trying to create a perfect cursed being which has to do with the baby and the implied rape of Jamie by Michael which just makes no fucking sense! Plus she was only supposed to be 15 years old at this point! Nothing makes much sense here to tell you the truth or it is just so stupid I don't want to accept it. Not another thing works here as this was probably the lowest point in the franchise as a whole. This film has the worst variation of the "Halloween" theme of any of the movies, the acting is abysmal at many times, and the overall atmosphere just feels so off. This is not the direction this series should have gone in, but, for better or worse, the next entry also takes this franchise in a whole different direction.

Notable Moment: When Tommy and Kara are running from Michael at Smith's Grove and we see this stupid look come over Tommy's face with that annoying electric guitar rendition of the "Halloween" theme playing. Makes me laugh so hard for some reason.

Final Rating: 4/10

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