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Tuesday, July 9, 2013

The Shock Labyrinth 3D Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After a traumatic event ten years earlier, five friends reunite only to relive the same experience.

Review: This is one of those movies that would have been good if they simply played it straightforward instead of attempting some pretentious nonsense. I mean, I still don't know what the hell even happened, because no matter how I try to rationalize it, and come up with a scenario in my mind to explain everything, it just doesn't add up! It's annoying because the first 20-30 minutes of the film are really interesting and lays the groundwork nicely for an intriguing mystery. Unfortunately, the film fails to deliver on the buildup and is unable to provide a meaningful resolution to the story. The 3-D gimmick is also stupid and misused while loosely scattered making it almost irrelevant to the plot except to make a few scenes look cool. I've been noticing more Japanese horror movies pulling this bullshit which sucks, because I thought they'd learn from Hollywood's mistake but I guess not...

So let's address the few things this movie did right first since those are more technical while the story is a mess. While the 3-D mostly looks like shit, the overall imagery is strong and the cinematography is to be commended. There are many, many shots that feel inspired and creative to the point I wish they had been applied to a better film. I especially loved the spiral staircase that is effectively displayed as well as the foreboding corridors. As an extension of the film's look, the setting is creative as the film takes place predominately at a "haunted house" attraction within an amusement park called, you guessed it, the Shock Labyrinth; it's actually supposed to be an abandoned hospital, but I don't know how else to refer to it. Seeing some decently scary looking mannequins and props lying in the background annoyed me because they are not utilized properly; this is what I meant by the film would have been more entertaining had this concept been the focus rather than the convoluted story given. The mannequins do come to life toward the end, but at that point it feels so unnecessary, but I should still mention it's the best scene. Finally, the opening scenes are genuinely captivating and immerse you in the mystery of what really did happen to the characters when they were kids. Sadly, only disappointment will follow as the story unfolds.

The reason the story is so stupid is because the very premise is a paradox. Essentially, ten years ago, the kids were at some amusement park and then snuck into the Shock Labyrinth attraction when it was closed. Within the attraction they came face to face with their future selves and were frightened. At first I thought they'd be panicking and try to flee but for some reason the kids recover the confidence to keep fucking with each other which in turn leads to the apparent death of one of their friends as she falls to the bottom of a large spiral staircase. Because the kids each had some lame reason why they did not try to help the girl, this led to the present day guilt they feel leaving them in a state of forced amnesia as they attempt to forget what happened. We continually see aspects of the story shaped by the future selves interacting with the past thus shaping the memories they had as kids, but this makes no fucking sense! This cannot possibly work on any level. This is just like "Ju-on" with the goddamn haunting yourself phenomena except this makes even less sense since we have no reason for time travel nor do we get any sort of explanation. Plus, why are we introduced to the grown up version of the dead girl since she appears to be trapped in the attraction as a little girl? Fuck that, it's worse because we later learn the girl didn't even die! But if that's true, why didn't her sister and mom care to mention that fact earlier?! Ugh. You kind of have to see this shit for yourself to fully grasp the circular nature of the plot, but, suffice to say, it makes you want to hit your head against a wall. I'm not even going to try and explain the random shots of weird shit, multiple plot elements introduced that have no purpose or connection to anything, and the outright shenanigans that appear for no discernible reason except to further perplex the viewer. I get that this was supposed to be mostly psychological and focus on coping with guilt but there are better ways to cover this material without shoehorning in time travel as a terrible plot device.

In the end, there were some good ideas and the beginning started off quite promising while the film as a whole had great cinematography and memorable imagery. However, the story is convoluted and no matter what explanation anyone will come up with to make sense of this plot, there are too many contradictions and nonsensical developments that destroy any logical flow. How the hell can you scare your adult self who already possesses your memories of being scared of the events they're forcing to play out in an endless loop?! Just read that retarded question a few times and let it sink in! Had this film simply been about a bunch of kids that saw some creepy shit at a haunted hospital only to be mysteriously brought back there as adults with the attraction coming to life--that would have been worth my time. Hell, having the place simply haunted would have at least been a worthy excuse to brush over the randomness rather than the apparent haunting by a little girl who can appear as an adult while simultaneously not even be dead! Okay, so a lot of reviewers have trashed this movie (including me) and the rating on IMDb is really low, but, as nonsensical as it was, I still feel it's not that bad. The acting, pacing, and visuals are strong enough for me to declare this an average movie and just barely worth a view if you're feeling curious.

Notable Moment: When the attractions come to life finally. Even with such a cool buildup, it still managed to be a major letdown.

Final Rating: 5/10

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