Translate

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Black Waters of Echo's Pond Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After discovering and playing an old board game, partygoers find themselves acting strangely and turning on each other.

Review: Since Danielle Harris' appearance in "Among Friends" was so miniscule, I had to track down another film of hers to fill the void; thankfully, she has starred in a plethora of horror films to choose from that can satiate any fan's desires. With a ridiculous title like "The Black Waters of Echo's Pond" you'd think this would be something unique, but, instead, it comes off more as a mixture of "Jumanji" meets "Event Horizon." Oddly enough, there is another movie with a similar plot, called "Open Graves," that was made the same year...just throwing that out there. Eh, this movie's premise is kind of cool and things start off promising, but we spiral into cliche-land too quickly with no payoff. More annoyingly, Ms. Harris' name is used as a draw, as if she's the lead, but she serves more as a secondary character. In fact, I don't know who is supposed to be the main character since the person set up as the first victim turns out to be the only survivor.

The film begins with fake archeologists making stuff up as they go as they explore Turkish ruins in 1927. They claim that some mural provides instructions for a ritual that can open up a gateway to Pandemonium, which is the world of the Pans: Pan being the Greek god and his sons. Supposedly all kinds of fantasies can come true in Pandemonium as there is a pond that under its surface can be heaven, hell, etc. Funny, Pandemonium is a term invented in 1667 and is supposed to be the capital of hell, but who would have thunk it that Greeks actually invented it 2000 years prior and only this movie knows the truth! So these clowns of course create the ritual, that is apparently a board a game, on some island in Maine. Why Maine? Because the villain from "Kindergarten Cop" told them to, duh! Probably still trying to get back his stupid son or something. Anyway, those jackass archeologists started the game without him so he's pissed and goes out there to take his turn when he discovers everyone is dead except one dude who shoots "Kindergarten Cop" villain and then himself. Talk about a sore loser.

We cut to modern day and now the island is owned by the T-1000 who is letting his nephew and his idiotic friends hang out at his house. The characters are all annoying which sucks, because I always want to cheer for my darling Ms. Harris to come out on top. Everyone really hates Miguel from "Independence Day" for some reason especially Ms. Harris and the twins from "Grindhouse." I think it has something to do with him being a party animal after his father died from saving the world from aliens and leaving him a large inheritance from his crop dusting business. Eventually the group comes across the game in the basement, which was kind of out in the open and should have been discovered by someone over the years, and they start to play it because they burned the only DVD in the house. Everyone becomes extra bitchy, horny, and stupid the more they play the game as we see some creature, I guess is supposed to be Pan, being used as a transition shot. As things escalate, the game is able to possess an individual and you try and kill everyone around you. We think Miguel must surely be the first victim, since he stormed off all alone, but he turns out to be the last man standing; Ms. Harris lives longer than nearly everyone else unnecessarily, but I'm not complaining. Once Miguel has killed the last possessed person, he suddenly finds himself at the beginning when they first started to play the game. So does that mean nothing was real? He's in some kind of loop? Or they just didn't know how to end the movie? I guess that's the advantage of being a fighter pilot.

I don't know about this one. It's so hard to overlook the general stupidity that lurks at every corner of this film. The acting is all over the place with some people doing a commendable job while others are terrible. There is a lot of padding and pointlessness to many moments. They waste the potential of the game's ability to manifest things in favor of this possession bullshit; the notion of the game revealing secrets was also never implemented properly. We keep hearing a chainsaw revving up, but then it's seen not moving. Oh, and the T-1000 serves no purpose except as an extra face to attract more fans to watch since all he does is take down traps he set up on the island all night; although, he rightfully addresses how stupid this is...probably ad-libbing the lines. Okay, maybe I'm being overly harsh. There were some good ideas and the deaths were respectable. I also liked the creature that was supposed to be Pan running around even if he did absolutely nothing; his look was kind of scary so it's a shame he was not an active antagonist. Overall, this movie is slightly above average mostly due to its ideas and recognizable cast.

Notable Moment: When my dear Ms. Harris is chainsawed to death. I wasn't expecting her to die since it was so late in the movie.

Final Rating: 5.5/10

No comments: