Spirit Camp Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: Bimbo cheerleaders go to some camp in the middle of nowhere as a lame killer conveniently emerges to dispatch of them.

Review: I checked this movie out on a whim since it was a recommendation on Amazon and clearly these dumb advertising algorithms need some work, because I thought this sucked. There were some favorable reviews, and the mention of a throwback vibe caught my attention, but I'm starting to debate the sincerity of these so-called horror fans. Plus, as much as I love the '80s, there are things simply not worth repeating. "But you're missing the point, Ryan, it was meant to be stupid" no, there's a big difference between trying to capture the, often times, ludicrous nature of '80s horror films and just being a piece of shit. The thing about low budget horror films is that they force ingenuity or they end up displaying why alleged film "critics" think the genre is stupid--this film is in the latter category. Worse yet, they tried to make this "Bring It On" (minus the amusing characters) meets "Sleepaway Camp" (minus the twist to the killer) with faint hints of Jason, or something, which was not working one bit.

I'll do a quick rundown of the story, because there's not much to tell. Basically, two cheerleaders were murdered a couple years ago, or whenever; honestly, it doesn't matter since it has no relevance even though this was supposed to be a "Friday the 13th" nod. Now a bunch of idiotic cheerleaders are meeting for whatever the hell a spirit camp is supposed to be. We are meant to like the main girl, because she's a tough rebel with a heart of gold, but I still wanted her to die since I don't care for weak cliches. The rest of the characters are stupid and/or a red herrings which is pointless, because the killer is beyond obvious to the point that I wonder if they realize how idiotic it was. There are quite a few retarded subplots that only serve to pad out the paper thin story to meet a regular running time and to bolster the body count. I think the girls are supposed to be hot, but they looked way too fake for me. I might have thought one chick was pretty good looking, but she was wearing Oompa Loompa brand spray tan for whatever reason. The kills are pathetic and borderline embarrassing, using repeated footage of an ax swing with the moon as a background; most kills are also offscreen with only a secondary shot of blood-laden victims. Needless to say, everyone dies until only the main girl is alive as she moronically fights the killer who toys way too much with her even though he killed everyone else quickly. The main girl somehow manages to blows up the killer, who was the gas station guy, and yet she goes unscathed for the most part. The movie ends revealing that the killer survived, through magic probably, and plans to kill the girl...I guess.

Honestly, if the killer had been anyone other than the most obvious character in the film, I would have rated this higher. You don't even have a reason to suspect the killer could be a cheerleader, because they made the killer a rapist as well. Speaking of which, we never learn why the killer is doing this nor do we know why he stopped killing up until now. Gotta love that deep and intricate plot--I mean, come on, this is the bare basics of slasher films they're failing at. But other than annoying characters, predictable plot points, and horrendous dialogue and acting, there is still a laundry list of reasons why this sucked. The movie tries to be funny but fails too often, coming off annoying. The so-called homage elements are few and far between and feel more like this movie is ripping them off. If you're going to have every cliche in the horror handbook while pretending to be humorous, you have to work with these cliches in an interesting way to make it ironic or something! The only really positive thing I can say about this movie was that one guy practically worked on every aspect of the film, so...uh...I suppose there exists the possibility this could have been better with a real crew onboard. I think it goes without saying to avoid this film which you will thank me, because the DVD is way too expensive.

Notable Moment: When the one cheerleader is screaming, thinking she's about to be killed, and keeps checking to see when, or if, it's going to happen. This was mildly clever, yet nothing else remotely as amusing ever happens again.

Final Rating: 4/10