Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: An anthology series showcasing all manner of random horror tales from Japan.
Review: Onto the second volume in this set. I should probably mention that there are technically four volumes total, but, for some reason, they break up the third volume into two parts. Anyway, this volume feels like a step down from the first in terms of quality, scares, and creativity. It's not to say these tales are bad necessarily, but they border more on the mediocre side of the road; and there is not a single scare to be had which is a shame. However, there are more recognizable actors involved this time around, which is always fun to pick up on, and there are more stories to compensate for the drop in quality (but I always prefer quality over quantity). Now let's have a look at what volume 2 has to offer us, shall we!
Off the Shelf: To kick things off we have a man coming home from work and talking complete nonsense on the phone and off the phone. He's talking to himself insanely and even remarks about this. We get the inference that he's probably divorced or kicked out of his home, or something along these lines, as he rambles on incoherently. There's something about a neighbor knocking on the wall and some ghost-ish looking person hanging from the ceiling, but this could mean anything. The story ends with the man screaming that some guy, I'm presuming the neighbor, is insane and that's it. This is not exactly how you want to begin an anthology with a story basically involving a guy screaming to himself accompanied by sheer shenanigans.
Stones: While fishing, a man mocks another man's inquiry from a distance only to find himself face to face with said man. A narration explains the typical bullshit you can expect from Japanese mythology regarding animal spirits being tricksters and taking delight in fucking with unsuspecting douchebags. When the man is done fishing he discovers his fish is missing after seeing a little fishy flopping on a bike path. Realizing something is up, the man rides off but is hit with stones. Realistically, considering the size, speed, and distance that these stones are hitting the guy, he should be dead but okay. After taking a few hits, the man tries to act tough further provoking the trickster spirit. When the man finally tries to escape he is confronted by a large pile of rocks that more than likely pummeled the poor bastard to death. Moral of the story, don't talk shit under your breath? I guess. I'm assuming this tale was meant to be funny, but it felt stupid to me.
My Sister's Room: Something about that title makes me laugh. Back on track...a girl believes she is being haunted by an old lady each night at the same time which we see. Her parents don't believe it and seem to imply she's masturbating or something...which I guess makes sense considering the orgasmic moaning she makes. Later on, when getting a midnight snack, the girl's brother explains that he has been overhearing the strange events coming from the sister's room each night at the same time. When he's done telling his version of the events he bursts out laughing to the sister's dismay. However, the brother can't stop laughing and shows signs of distress as his laugh becomes more feminine and similar to his description of the ghost. We then realize it's the same time of night that the girl has been haunted. Eh, this could have been kind of scary if they spent more time with the Kayako-wannabe. Oh well.
The Train: Three whiny women are having, what appears to be, a sleepover at the one girl's apartment when they become distracted by a noisy train passing by. I don't know what it is, but one of the girls I found really attractive. Maybe it was her hairstyle or, more likely, the fact that she was unintentionally humping a pillow; I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that wasn't in the script. The women discuss dating drama while remarking how unusual that a train would be running this late at night. When the girl that own's the apartment comes back from grabbing late night snacks she explains that they are far from any stations and is perplexed by their claim to have heard a train. The women look out the window and see that it's quiet and that there couldn't possibly be a train nearby, but they hear the train once more as a bright light comes at them and they disappear. I probably would have liked this entry more had it made any sense, but it's not too bad for a short.
The Lover: A selfish bitch is mad that her boyfriend has grown depressed from working his job to support her candy ass. Later, the man commits suicide while the little chickadee sleeps in another room...huh? What kind of living arrangements were going on in this place? Not knowing what had happened, the girl sees the boyfriend and tries to reconcile with the guy. The boyfriend responds by demonstrating utterly horrendous CGI neck stretches, I guess, implying he hanged himself. Honestly, the effect is so terrible I am embarrassed to even behold it. And that's all that happens too--a lame argument followed by an even worse effect! The end.
Take Good Care of Him: Stuck as the one to represent a company, a man must deliver a condolence gift to a co-worker at a hospital...despite the fact that the co-worker is not the one dying and it's his mother. Hey, I don't know. Kanji Tsuda is the guy, and even though he's overacting like crazy, it's always a treat watching him pop up in J-horror. His character is kind of amusing though--checking out nurses and laughing when the co-worker is saying stupid things to the dying mother. For some reason a nurse and doctor overseeing the mother are acting oddly suspicious. When the mother does finally bite the dust, only Mr. Tsuda sees her speak the title of this story. Then when the shifty-eyed nurse and doctor leave, the nurse turns into the mother. Uhh okay. Am I missing something here?
Let's Play: A little girl, playing with her friends outside an apartment complex, notices a lonely girl watching them from a high up apartment and implores the girl to join them. The lonely girl appears, but runs away when the main girl asks her to come play. The main girl is led to the other girl's apartment as time jumps and we are given the indication that the two have been playing together often. The parents doubt the lonely girl's existence and try to get to the bottom of the situation since no one supposedly lives at that apartment. When the landlord helps them go inside, they find the girl's notes to the lonely girl, but the door locks the parents out. Then we see the notes pulled into a whirlwind with the main girl looking confused...and so was I. More time passes and the main girl is gone from the group of friends as another girl notices the lonely girl watching, but now she looks a little creepier. It is obviously implied this cycle will continue as the lonely girl is some kind of malevolent being. This wasn't too bad, but the constant shots of the camera spinning were making me dizzy.
A Motel: Two actresses find themselves stuck at an old motel after a day of shooting for a horror film. The innkeeper appears to be going out of his way to come off as creepy as the two try to settle in. Later that night, one of the actresses hears noises and a voice coming from the other side of their door, but the other actress won't awake no matter how much prodding. The voice keeps asking to be let inside, and, for some reason, the actress seems more than willing to oblige; I guess she's supposed to be curious or intrigued or whatever. A seemingly possessed version of the other actress advises not to open the door, but this dumbass can't take a hint and insists on seeing what's on the other side. The story ends with the actress opening the door and the audience is, quite literally, left in the dark. If this didn't feel so much like one of the other stories from the first volume it would have been okay, but it comes off pointless and as a tease more than anything.
The Garden: After becoming unnerved by strange phenomenon, a woman asks her milfy-looking friend to investigate since she's apparently some kind of psychic. The woman doesn't even give us a proper understanding of what is bothering her and the psychic friend says she feels nothing and that there's nothing to worry about as well. Oddly enough, when the psychic friend leaves, she appears to feel something, but I guess she was like "fuck you" and continues on her merry way. Later on the woman hears the vacuum running on its own and sees the feet of a ghost along the way. What is this, the Saeki house? Then the psychic friend calls all casually saying the woman needs to leave, because there's some "monster" in the garden. A narration explains the previous owners murdered people and fed them to this "monster" which we see briefly in a cage. How do you not notice a giant, human sized cage in your backyard until now?! The story simply ends with the woman looking at the cage as if something sinister is happening. Maybe the "monster" was Toshio all grown up, I don't know.
Don't Ever Open It: The story opens with a little girl playing with cucumbers or something. I mean, seriously? I know I have a twisted sense of humor, but come on! Get this kid some real toys. But maybe it makes sense, after all, as the grandfather comes off as a child molester and warns the little girl not to open some shrine, I'm assuming, that's dedicated to the grandma. Because that is the worst thing to say to a kid, the girl of course messes with the shrine and then all of a sudden there's a second little girl. Huh? The two are playing together nicely at first, but then the second, creepier girl, tries to drag the main one into the shrine. After failing, the creepy girl leaps inside and gives one final creepy stare as she disappears into the darkness and the shrine closes on its own. Then the molesting grandpa appears and goes to grab the little girl. My theory: there's no ghost, the grandma deal is a red herring, the little girl was his captive and he didn't want anyone to find her, the grandpa kills the mom because she catches on, and it ends with that molester getting the little girl. I guess you could say this is the scariest story of the bunch from that perspective. How else am I to interpret this shit?
Getting Closer: Okay, this is some next level "Inception" shit right here! A pretty cute girl is taking care of her aunt's dog when the TV begins to show P.O.V. of someone with a camera in the house; this kind of reminded me of an episode of "Beyond Belief: Fact of Fiction." When the camera perspective is right on top of the girl, she wakes up from a dream only to find herself deeper in another dream and then another and another! Fuck, she's going to end up in limbo at this rate. In the various dreams she sees a ghostly woman drawing closer to her until the ghost gets what she wants: the chance to lick the girl's face. Psh, okay. Is this like some kind of subtly erotic dream? It definitely doesn't help that the girl stepped in a puddle of jizz or something at one point. When the girl appears to be awake for good, and after trying too hard to throw in the kawaii factor, she notices jizz (or slobber if you prefer) on her cheek but brushes it off to the dog licking her face. The segment ends with her spinning a top on the table but the camera fading to black before it topples...oh wait, no, I meant, it ends with the TV in the background looking ominous thus implying she ended up in limbo after all. All lame "Inception" jokes aside, this was a decent story and amused me greatly.
Please, Don't: Hmm...that's exactly what my friend said when I discussed making a picture montage of his face. Go figure. This is actually the first of a three-parter segment, although, I don't think this story was anywhere near worthy of needing this much time to tell the tale. A young guy is filming his family and random bullshit around the house, because he's bored I suppose. Later that night, when the father comes home, they notice the doorknob to the home is jiggling as if someone is trying to get in but no one is there when they open the door. And that's it. Weak.
No More, Please: In the second act of this tale, the family learns the pattern of this ghostly occurrence with the knob jiggling at the same time each night. The family is unsettled by the phenomenon, but the father wants to ignore it. Then things change with the ghosts taking things up a notch and bending some spoons, knocking over the TV, shorting out the microwave, and being a general pain in the ass. The family brings over some kind of spiritualist who explains that the house is a gateway for the dead that die at a nearby intersection. We cut to the dad shooting the shit in an abandoned lot with a friend or colleague, or whatever, as they chug away on chocolate milk. Pssshhh what?! These are my kind of guys! The other guy explains that there are scientists who look into poltergeist hauntings and that's pretty much the end. Oh shit, don't leave me on the edge of my seat like this! I need more chocolate milk!
Come, If You Dare: In the final act, the family is now explaining the haunting as if they're being interviewed for a documentary. After encountering, what looks to be, the men in black (plus one woman), the family is convinced that the ghosts are not real but a manifestation of electromagnetic energy built up in the home. The men in black claim to release the energy from the home and then the hauntings stop for a month. Then one night all hell breaks loose with ghosts appearing in the home and causing a ruckus. "Don't start none, won't be none!" The family explains they moved out after fleeing the home that night. Then the segment ends with them pondering the possibility that someone else moved into the home. Besides being a blatant ripoff of "Poltergeist," was this story truly worthy of three segments to tell it? I am seriously disappointed with this lazy effort.
Fox and a Bath: Here we go with another comedic tale and another "Grudge" alumni in the starring role. A business guy screwing with the housing market in a town finds himself passed out while driving and awakening in a bathtub in an unknown location. Is this "Saw?" I have to say, the shots of the guy driving are fucking HORRENDOUS! I mean, god fucking damn it! He's clearly sitting still and the car is not moving. I get that this is low budget, but this is pathetic. Change the setting to night or something--mask the flaws somehow. You have got to be shitting me here. Anyway, an old woman explains that travelers sometimes appear in this bathtub telling the same kind of confusing story. The guy finds his car parked outside and questions the insane nature of his circumstance. The woman explains that sometimes a fox spirit will curse those who wish to do harm to the town. The guy does not take too kindly to that comment and laughs at the thought of this concept, but this enrages the old woman who is seemingly the fox spirit. And that's that. These fucking fox spirits I tell you.
An Interrogation: An injured man is questioned by the police who are trying to figure out what led to his car accident. The man claims he was merely driving along when a phantom woman appeared out of nowhere and ran at his car. In an attempt to avoid the woman, he crashed into a wall. When he emerged from a momentary stupor, he noticed the woman was in the passenger seat and appeared to be hogtied. After closing his eyes from fright, the girl was gone when he opened them next. The one police officer is about to say something when he is stricken with a choking episode. Oddly, neither the main guy nor the other cop try to intervene even though we see them reacting to the choking. The choking cop recovers and explains he will make a report about the accident but leave out anything with a phantom woman. Something appears off with the cop now and then the main guy notices the ghostly woman is controlling the words spoken by the cop. It just ends with the guy shivering like a bitch. Ehh, this wasn't too bad and the ghost girl was kind of sexy. This plot would have made for a better multi-part story as we could learn what led to the girl ending up that way.
Family Crest: A woman has recently married into a "traditional" family, but the husband is not around much due to work. The mother in law lectures the woman on grandkid bullshit you'd expect until she falls asleep due to annoyance; also there's something with beads but okay. When the woman is sleeping she is awakened by a samurai haunting her and demanding she offer up her unborn child to him. The woman does not believe she is pregnant and thinks it's all a dream so she acts tough and scares away the samurai. The mother in law, hearing the commotion, tries to console the woman and definitely knows more than she lets on insisting that the woman hold onto those precious beads. Later, the woman does get pregnant and gives birth. The mother in law explains that the family has some kind of curse where they lose their first born children to miscarriage, and there is some weak connection to the samurai but we never get an explanation. The mother in law also claims when she gave birth to the woman's husband, she had the beads come out of her. Umm...okay...how do you even respond to that? Divorce.
Handprints: Alright, we ended things pathetically last time, do we close out strong this time around? Of course not! Some guy is staying at a hotel and appears to be having some kind of financial trouble that leads him to consider suicide. When trying to open a window to jump, it becomes stuck and he grows frustrated resulting in him thinking of his young daughter and changing his tune. Then he receives a mysterious knock at the door with no one there. This is followed by a strange phone call of the daughter crying out for him. Finally, there is a tapping at the window which is putting the man in a frenzy of confusion. The man opens the curtains and discovers numerous ghostly handprints forming on the window. And that's all that happens! Wow, way to go out with a bang.
As you've probably noticed, there's a distinct drop in the cool factor of the stories. The first volume simply felt better all around than this one. I mean, you have horror alum, better looking girls, and a few good stories, but overall this was a mediocre experience. As a part of a massive collection, this softens the blow, but if you're buying these volumes individually you should understand what you're getting. However, these are still amusing tales to watch and they still worked well enough on most stories with a small budget. But like I said, quality over quantity any day.
Notable Moment: During the "Getting Closer" segment with the ghost going to town on licking that girl's face; this was clearly the standout segment from this volume.
Final Rating: 5/10
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