WARNING: Some stories mentioned may be too disturbing or (probably) too stupid for sane people to imagine actually happening. Also, never jog alone...
I don't know how often I will make posts like this, and I know this has nothing to with movies, but I wanted to discuss some bizarre shit I've seen lately. Maybe others can share their stories with me!
First Occurrence--The Howling: What motivated me to finally type this shit out was what I saw this morning when I went running with my sister. Actually, all these stories are while I'm out running. Although it was close to 5 AM, it was still dark out when we heard a big dog barking. My sister nonchalantly points to the roof of a house and...there he is...a big ass dog barking and howling atop a roof. Whaaaaat? A dog...sitting on a roof...just hanging out at five in the morning. Surrrre, why not, right? He looked like the beast from "The Sandlot." I'm like, is this supposed to be someone's equivalent of an alarm system? Is he a weredog? Did he fly up there? There was a window, I'm assuming he came through, but it was closed when we went past. I mean, who the hell leaves their dog out on a roof for the night?! Dafuq?! This was a three story house by the way, although, the dog was on some kind of alcove of the second story. When we came back, the dog was gone so I'm assuming the owners heard us talking or the dog flew away. I just imagine some kind of "Salem's Lot" situation with a vampire dog trying to knock on the window. I wanted to get a photo so bad, but, alas, I have no physical evidence.
Second Occurrence--Dead Tired: This time it was closer to 4:30 AM when I drove to my sister's house, and I noticed, what looked like, a dead body lying half in the street and half on a driveway. This idiot was probably high or drunk or both and passed out, amusingly, face-first in the cement. We debated about whether or not we should call the police, especially since we knew he had no association with the people who owned the driveway he was lying in. I much preferred the poking with a stick approach, but he did appear to be breathing. Hmm, not sure if that was a good thing or not. As with most of these weird situations, I find myself cracking up with laughter. We decided to go on about our merry way since there are a few unsavory types who he probably was with at one point. Though, why would they leave their friend, associate, satisfied customer to rot in the street? Regardless, this imbecile disappeared by the time we came back. Goodnight, sweet junkie, and flights of meth sing thee to thy rest.
Third Occurrence--The Freaks Come Out At Night: This one isn't so much a story as just a collage of the random lunatics I see. First up is Slender Man: a random tall guy always skulking about in a shady way. Not sure where he comes from, or where the hell he is going, but he looks suspicious as fuck. Next up, Bernie, the town drunk: I have no clue what this guy's story really is, but that's what I call him. I like to imagine the conversations he has with the police when they scoop him up each night--it's almost sitcom-like. This old guy loves to run around shirtless in the middle of the night. Then there is cameraman: what's he really trying to film, huh? Hell if I know, but he popped up out of nowhere one day. One of my favorites is crackhead extraordinaire, Sharon: likes reading, long walks on the beach, and sitting on the sidewalk with no shoes on while picking her scabs. What a sweetheart. I'll be sure to add to this list in the future!
Fourth Occurrence--It Follows: And to close up my little tales...for now...we have the curious case of annoying, relentless blood-sucking bugs. Bugs usually are attracted to me--whether it's something in my blood or my scent--they will try to bite me over anyone else. In this particular instance, a bug would not stop following me! This probably sounds really stupid, but you need to imagine this thing was chasing me for miles! I kept running and running, and, if I stopped for a second to catch my breath, this bitch was buzzing in my ear. You kind of had to be there, but, I assure you, it was out of the ordinary for sure. I couldn't kill it either since I had nothing to hit it with, and it was flying around too fast to swat with my hand. I know, I live such a troubled life. Just thought that would be an amusing finale to this quartet of bizarre and idiotic tales of terror.
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