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Sunday, August 14, 2016

Updated Review #14: The Monster Squad


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: When the Universal Monsters unite to take over the world only a band of kids can save the day!

Review: Everyone has that one movie that represents and defines the '80s to them--for some people it's "The Goonies" or "The Breakfast Club" or what have you. For me, the quintessential film that exemplifies the magic of the decade is, as you might easily guess, "The Monster Squad!" This was a movie I would watch, quite literally, on a daily basis. It's funny too, because this movie embodies the '80s yet was trying to be a throwback to the bygone era of Universal's heyday with the likes of Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, and the Wolfman. At the same time, it satirized the tropes of invincible holiday killers and endless sequels that filled the '80s landscape--as evident by "Ground Hog Day Part 12." It shocked me to learn that this film initially bombed similarly to "The Thing." Thankfully, the fanbase has grown exponentially over the years. Still, some audiences cannot appreciate the merits of this wonderful film. People I've shown this to for the first time typically have mixed reactions--some falling in love while others saying it's dated. C'mon, what's not to love here?!

When I first saw this, probably in '88 shortly after it hit rental stores, I was extremely young--maybe too young--but the film ratings didn't mean as much back then. I still consider this a family horror movie since the audiences back then weren't comprised of pussy-children and their whiny bitch parents. Hell, the characters themselves reflect this attitude perfectly! This leads me to the first, main highlight: the characters. On one end you have the kids who are a lot of fun. Most people tend to love Rudy because...well...he's Rudy! Besides having great lines (like "This babe is major!") and looking like a total badass, Rudy kills the most monsters; his body count includes the Wolfman, Dracula's three brides, and (technically) the Mummy. But I like all the kids though--they're believably average but interesting nonetheless. They're the kind of kids I would have wanted to hang out with given their love for all things horror related.

"We're the Monster Squad!"

Now, on the other end of the spectrum are the monsters. I absolutely love the designs on everyone but Frankenstein's monster (he simply looks okay). This Wolfman is still my favorite werewolf design--no shitty CGI needed and looks menacing as fuck! But the positives go beyond mere cool design choices. There is a respect for the older, classic villains; there was certainly a concerted effort to up their strength and evil for the '80s audiences. It's difficult to properly express, because I'm admiring a movie that represents an era that was trying to pay homage to a different film era! Needless to say, the legendary beasts that frightened audiences of the '30s-50s--paving the way for the horror genre itself--are shown immense love. This commendable effort on the filmmakers' part is not lost on me.

"Let it begin."

Connected to the monsters were the impressive special effects for the time. I will admit, many effects do not hold up any longer, but context is, of course, important. The general aesthetics of everything, from the lighting to the weathered sets, looks fantastic. The pacing is another thing that will help modern audiences become invested. While I feel the film is too short, the plot gets rolling rather quickly and never lets up. Considering the story is about kids fighting monsters, there is a lot of action abound. Finally, the music is decent and adequately creepy--setting the tone remarkably well. In fact, we used this music for the theme in our shitty, homemade movie, "Danny Haskell." Surely, I've mentioned that piece of shit before, right?

"Wolfman's got nards."

For me, the reason why the rating is so high boils down to my own bias and nostalgia mixed with tremendous levels of bonus points. There is this overwhelming level of cheesiness that is fucking beautiful to behold. For example, Eugene writes to the army to come help fight the monsters, and they actually show up! And the manner in which this plot line is played straight is awesome. Even bullshit product placements feel natural when they joke about trying to do the ritual to defeat the monsters at Burger King. That dramatic music cue when Fat Kid says, "My name...is Horace!" And what '80s movie would be complete without an adrenaline-pumping montage sequence?! Gotta love this kind of shit. Then you have the dad who is the kind of character we don't even see anymore in film...an all around cool guy who steps up his game to fight the monsters. Plus, an ending theme song based on the movie? Oh hell yes!

"Dropped your candy bar, EJ."

This film has it ALL! Corny yet hilarious dialogue, quotable lines, memorable characters, solid pacing, an engaging story and action, kids kicking ass, intimidating monsters portrayed with admirable practical effects, and off the charts levels of '80s camp! I really don't know how anyone could not love this movie...I mean...guys, have you seen Patrick's sister?! I get that not everyone will appreciate this film to the degree that I do, but this is pure gold. Sure, there are plenty of detriments strewn about, but they are minor and the bonus points more than cancel them out. If you grew up in the '80s, and missed out on this gem, seek this out pronto. If you don't hold the decade in reverence I still think any horror fan should enjoy this movie; the entertainment factor is exceptionally high. Lastly, this is what family horror should be about. It...might...be a bit too hardcore for little, little kids but quit raising pussified children!

Notable Moment: Hmm...I love all the moments with Rudy, but I'll stick with when Rudy kills the Wolfman. "Only one way to kill a werewolf!"

Final Rating: 9/10

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