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Sunday, November 9, 2014

7500 Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After a man suddenly dies aboard a flight to Tokyo, strange occurrences begin to plague the passengers.

Review: I've been going through all the films I passed over in October while I was focusing on Halloween movies, and, so far, they've all been disappointing. This movie was in limbo for a couple years, for whatever reason, and I think I finally understand why: it's simply a collage of cliched plot lines. It sucks...I was looking forward to this one, because it had a cool trailer, I liked the notion of a haunted house on a plane, and I'm a fan of Takashi Shimizu's work. While Mr. Shimizu's usual flair for aesthetics and atmospheric dread are certainly present, this is a by the numbers horror film with a predictable twist, that is overly foreshadowed, and devoid of scares. On the positive side, at least this is the first time I get to address the luscious Jamie Chung in action; we'll be seeing more of her at some point, that's for sure.

The story is that the whitest-looking flight to Tokyo appears to be haunted by something. Here we go again--Sam...Dean, you boys ready? The film spends a lot of time establishing the cornball drama of the characters and feels all too reminiscent of "Lost." Also, most of the characters have no discernible reason why they would be going to Tokyo in the first place. Honeymoons? Nice try coming from characters who don't appear they would appreciate Japan. The main red herring is a weird guy, with a wooden box, who is the first to die in a mysterious fashion. Considering the twist, I still don't get what happened to this guy, but, needless to say, he has no bearing on the situation. They clear out the top portion of the plane and cluster everyone in one spot together; this hardly matters because the continuity on the positioning of the passengers is terrible.

Later on, there is a loss of air pressure on the plane, but they soon stabilize. A huge douchebag uses this opportunity to steal the red herring's watch, but he, of course, goes bye bye. It's never explicitly addressed, and I will explain it since the film didn't bother to, but people clearly begin to disappear at this point. The main cast thinks this has something to do with the red herring, and they go through his luggage to find a weird doll; would have been infinitely cooler if they found Kayako's diary instead. More people get picked off by the ghost, or whatever the hell it is, as you should start to realize the twist; the characters begin to let go of their drama right before disappearing. Big surprise, the remaining passengers find their own dead bodies sitting in their seats from when the plane lost air pressure. Oh noooeess, they've been dead all along! In case you still can't figure it out, rest assured, the film spoon-feeds it to you with a news broadcast, that magically comes on, explaining that they all suffocated and that the plane will crash when the fuel runs out. And if that weren't enough of a cliched ending, they still threw in a final zinger of the most annoying character getting killed off (?) at the end. Uhh, that makes no fucking sense if we already know that character is, in fact, dead! Speaking of which, what is this force "killing" everyone? Should I infer that everyone went to hell considering the violent way in which they realize the truth? I suppose the dumbest characters did meet the more horrible fates while the better ones get to disappear into the heavenly sunset. Ehhh...I'm calling bullshit anyway; it was merely a ploy to add scares when there shouldn't have been any.

Hell, if they stuck with the original assertion, of "The Grudge" on a plane, that might have been halfway decent. I felt like they could have done more given the somewhat interesting plot they had to work with. This movie was ridiculously short too, so the fact that the red herring was completely useless only emphasizes the padding. What few scares there were, were all jump scares and weak ones at that. Overall, it was just a big pile of meh and wasted potential. The only real saving graces were the cinematography, creepy music, and decently cute girls like Ms. Chung. Well, if you managed to go the last couple years forgetting all about this film's existence, I'd say continue on with that mindset.

Notable Moment: When the one guy is watching the "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" episode from "The Twilight Zone." Yeaaaah...because they would totally play that during a flight. Are you fucking kidding me?!

Final Rating: 5/10

Ms. Chung...the highlight of many mediocre films:

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just watched this movie so I know this review was made years ago but just had to say(because no one has been as close as you are at deciphering the plot...) that the force "killing" everyone was in fact the death doll(forget the actual name) finally taking their souls. The reason why the most annoying character was left behind was due to her not letting go until that last moment when she realized she was alone.

villainsrule said...

How'd you find out? DVD commentary or something?