Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: Idiots go to work at a camp where a legendary killer is said to lurk.
Review: What do we have here--a Friday the 13th and Valentine's Day back to back? Since I've covered the "Friday the 13th" franchise already, the best way to honor this little holiday is with the most shameless of all the Jason ripoffs: "Bloody Murder." My goodness, look at that poster! Still not sure how they got away with the blatancy of it all, but I suppose they hid behind the parody approach. Yes, the makers were well aware of the asinine nature to this film. That doesn't mean this shit is any less moronic...I'm simply acknowledging they knew exactly what they were doing and tried to make the most of it. I'd say they just narrowly cashed in on the last breath of the rental store era--right when DVDs had officially killed VHS in the public's eye. I distinctly remember renting this trash for a laugh at one point. But I do want to note that now you can pick up this film, its sequel, and 6 other movies all for cheap; it's apart of an 8 film bundle, and I'll get to the other abominations at one point. Finally, I realize next month has a Friday the 13th as well, and I'll have something special for that!
The moment this begins, and you see that ugly '90s look to everything, you know disaster lies ahead. Even the characters have this repulsive '90s look to them (except one); makes me want to become the killer. Matching their hideous looks, the characters are all really annoying, and I can't keep track of all their bullshit drama. Like...when someone gets killed, I'm typically wondering who the hell they even are. There's a part at the end when one girl is acting like she's good friends with the main chick, and I'm like, "Who the fuck are you?!" One character you will remember, however, is a little bitch they named Jason. Yeah, Jason! They try to reference "Friday the 13th," but they're clearly too scared to do so; I'll give them a little credit in this regard. And at least there was a Crazy Ralph wannabe. Another idiotic aspect to the fodder characters are how their notes and shit are read aloud to the audience; it's like listening to kindergarteners reading with their heads stuck in a fishbowl. When the kills finally come, they aren't even satisfying...with quite a few happening off screen and with ketchup blood. Pitiful.
As for the film's killer, Trevor Moorehouse, get used to hearing that mother fucker's name every 2 minutes. It's as if they realized they needed to keep beating it into the audience's head in the pathetic hope it would become as notorious as Jason Voorhees. The worst part is that Trevor isn't even the killer--he's just some boogeyman legend around the camp. The real killer is the head counselor or whatever. Surprisingly, the story is overly complicated with drama about a kid who went crazy after playing a game they call "bloody murder" (we called it jail break when I was a kid). I'll admit, I was hardly paying attention as to why the kid went crazy, but he later killed a counselor before being institutionalized. When the guy was released years later, he somehow impersonated the head counselor and arranged for the children of the people who messed with him to become counselors so he could pick them off. That's a bit convoluted of a plan but okay. Actually, no, it's not okay. The stupid town sheriff should have known this fucker wasn't the real head counselor and the two act like they've known each other for a long time. Well, whatever. Once everything gets wrapped up like a "Scooby Doo" episode, the sheriff mentions another dumb character I had no clue about. The killer claims he didn't kill that particular idiot as we segue into the final zinger. As little bitch Jason walks home, he runs into the real Trevor Moorehouse. Psh...that's a good one.
Believe it or not, I kind of like this movie. It's so excruciatingly stupid that it starts to cross into so-bad-it's-good territory. I mean, come on, there is a moment where one of the red herring characters is pretty much dictating what the sheriff should do next! And the sheriff releases the primary suspect on the whim of the main girl! You can't make that kind of shit up. To see the sheer amount of shenanigans and zany antics ensuing are surely worth one viewing. Also, the film's attempts at parodying Jason and the "Friday the 13th" franchise are mildly amusing. Simply keep in mind what kind of mess you're getting yourself into and you may find yourself watching comedy gold. Of course, if you're looking for a serious "Friday the 13th" alternative, you may find yourself raging 10 minutes in.
Notable Moment: When Julie's dad is knocked out by a little love tap--hilarious editing though.
Final Rating: 4.5/10
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