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Sunday, September 16, 2012

Scary or Die Review



Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A horror anthology featuring four, low budget tales.

Review: Typically I love anthology films, but this one felt really cheap and lacked any interesting stories. The wraparound was honestly the only worthwhile tale in the bunch, and it was a shame it was also the shortest. There are four aspects to the wraparound: the opening sequence which involves a zombie-like hand clicking on videos from a website called "scaryordie.com," the inbetween sequences in which the person clicks on each video which sets up each tale, a recurring zombie-like character in the background for each story, and the final segment that pulls it together. Essentially, the zombie-like woman was killed by her husband and is roaming the city trying to get back to him. Apparently her grandfather was some voodoo priest and cast some protection spell on her. Eh, it's interesting enough especially when compared to the rest, and I did like seeing the girl in each segment. The first story is the worst with some rednecks trying to kill illegal Mexicans crossing the US border. For some unexplained reason, the dead come back as zombies and the border patrol tries to keep them in check. It's really stupid and oh so pointless. The second story is a complete mess and predictable as hell; in fact, all these stories have really predictable twists and endings. Some lonely guy misses his dead wife and for some reason we see her ghost which has no relevance to the story. Then the guy sees some girl who looks like his wife, or whatever he thinks, get kidnapped and he rescues her. The next day or week or whatever (this story is so incoherent) the girl invites the guy over to "thank him." Well, it came as no surprise to me, the girl was a vampire and the guy that kidnapped her is a vampire killer. Long story short, no good deed goes unpunished. The third story was another case of wasted potential. It is too short and was actually starting to get interesting when it ended. Some hitman kills and chops up a guy and the body parts keep making noises in the trunk. There is a flashback that implies the guy the hitman killed was some kind of satanist or something to that nature. Before you know it, the dead guy has reformed and kills the hitman...the end! Stupid, right? The last real story is the longest and maybe dumbest of all. Once again, we have a total mess with all kinds of weird elements thrown together. Some drug dealer (with a heart of gold of course) is bit by a clown and then turns into some kind of monster clown; this is almost the exact plotline to a Dexter's Laboratory episode. There is some weird attempt to make things dramatic with a voice-over telling us the main guy's thoughts. Eventually the main guy saves his brother from the clown that bit him and eventually is killed by the police while stalking some kids to eat. The ending involves the guy's girlfriend now having a clown kid which you saw coming a mile away. This is an easy avoid unless you're a huge fan of anthology tales. I only rated this as high as I did because of the wraparound being somewhat creative. The acting, effects, stories, etc. all suck. They even used weak cgi for gunfire! This seriously looked like an amateur video you might see on youtube or worse.

Notable Moment: I suppose when the zombie wife came out of her crate...there really wasn't any scene worth mentioning.

Final Rating: 4/10

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