Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: In a small mining town, a seemingly dead killer returns to kill those who did not heed his warning to never celebrate Valentine's Day again.
Review: Okay, so maybe there aren't a ton of Valentine's Day themed horror movies out there after all; plus I have to save a few for next year. Also, I don't think there's an Asian horror film with Valentine's Day as a theme which sucks; sure, not a lot of those countries celebrate it, but come on, humor me! In some ways, this is the quintessential V-day themed horror movie since it pretty much mirrors "Halloween" mixed with the typical '80s cliches. Unlike "Halloween," however, this film is a lot cheesier with some shoddy acting, but the film compensates with more graphic deaths and a mystery as to the killer's identity. And while "Halloween" has an iconic music theme, MBV has an amazingly cornball ending theme based on the title and story--oh the '80s always pulling on my heartstrings (get it...heart...Valentine's Day...okay, I'll shut up now).
The movie opens with the killer offing some bimbo who is never referenced again except to make the mayor start whining like a bitch as a police car is chased by a random dog (not even making that up). I guess he killed her because she had a heart tattooed to her tit--I mean, who hasn't wondered what it would be like to shove a pickaxe through a chick dumb enough to have a tattoo of a heart where her actual heart would be, am I right? RIGHT?! So once upon a time, on a Valentine's Day 20 years ago, some miners were working in a mineshaft when their bosses kind of just walked off the job and they were trapped somehow. The only survivor was some guy named Harry Warden who went crazy and ate everyone trapped with him in order to survive. Dressed as a creepy miner, Harry killed some bitches the following year and warned the town to never celebrate Valentine's Day. Unfortunately for Harry, the name of the town was Valentine Bluffs and there was no way in hell they'd listen to that warning. Ugh. Seriously? You couldn't come up with a better name than that? While we do get some cool kills here and there as the mystery begins, a big chunk of the story is annoyingly dedicated to the main two guys, TJ and Axel, fighting over some stupid tease named Sarah; and she's nowhere near good looking enough to be the heart (see what I did there again?) of the story. While there are ample red herrings, it becomes painfully obvious that the killer has to be either TJ or Axel with each disappearing at convenient moments and looking suspicious as hell. The final climax is pretty damn awesome, I'm not going to lie, as the few remaining survivors are running around the mine tunnels with the imposing killer lurking about. I should mention that the look of the killer is definitely one of the strongest points to this film as the jumpsuit, gas mask, and pickaxe create a truly intimidating fiend for any group of fodder to contend with. Eventually Axel is "killed" offscreen which pretty much tells the audience, which they learn moments later, that he is, in fact, the killer. Apparently Axel's father was one of the supervisors that Harry Warden had killed while Axel hid under the bed. I guess he was traumatized by the incident and emulated Harry to a certain degree. Either that, or he was as tired of his tease girlfriend as I was, and wanted to clean up the other idiots inhabiting this town. It's also of note that the real Harry Warden had been dead for years, but contrivances kept this fact hidden for the majority of the movie. The film ends with Axel being trapped under some rubble and cutting off his arm to break free; he then runs off vowing revenge with Harry at his side setting up a sequel that never came into existence.
At a glance, this film does fall into many of the trappings similar to movies of this era which is a major detractor. The love triangle was lame considering Sarah doesn't even get killed which is borderline unforgivable! On top of that, some of the acting is flat out horrendous especially from a few extras. But if you can get past these flaws, there is a really cool slasher under it all. Sure, you have a fifty-fifty chance of guessing the killer which kind of sucks, but I liked the approach to the killer; he looks cool, feels truly menacing, and the kills are exceptionally graphic for the time. The pacing is good with a little intrigue and a kill right at the moment when you are probably clenching your fist over the dumb love triangle. The setting, and effective use of the mine tunnels, was awesome and established a badass scenario to unfold a bloody final showdown. I'm not saying this movie is anywhere near the level of "Halloween," but this is certainly one of the better clones and well worth your time. If you're looking for an alternative to all the chick flicks this year, this is probably the film for you.
Notable Moment: The ending credits, because it plays one of, if not, the most ridiculous of the movie title-themed songs from the '80s. It's sooooo fucking corny, but I love it nonetheless.
Final Rating: 6/10
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