OneChanbara Review

Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: A women with cursed blood must stop her sister and a scientist from destroying the world with super zombies.

Review: First, let me say that this film and its sequel have like a million alternate titles; I don't care to mention them all. The annoying part is that the sequel is a stand alone film from this one, so it makes it confusing as to which movie you are watching. Confounding things even further is that these films are based on a video game franchise that often has these same titles for their games. Hopefully you can sort things out! Anyway, as you might have guessed by that poster, this franchise as a whole is meant to cater to a certain type of audience. While you may expect the story and events to unfold in a manner similar to the likes of "The Machine Girl" and "Deadball," this film surprisingly takes itself seriously and never plays up or properly exploits the outlandish story. In fact, a lot of the decisions with this film completely baffle me, because it should be as over the top as it appears but fails tremendously in this regard.

I will quickly run down the plot since there's almost none. In the future, some corporation (wannabe Umbrella) can resurrect the dead and this leads to them obviously losing control. Zombies then take over the world with one of the rogue scientists still trying to modify the formula to have loyal zombies and more powerful ones. Honestly, I don't know if the villain even had a legitimate plan. Two sisters from a lineage of sword fighters, Aya and Saki, have something they refer to as "Imichi blood" which somehow magically gives them powers when covered in blood...or just whenever it seems like; this is not fully explained in this film, but they go over it more in the games and sequel. There's something about Saki kind of being the source to the zombies yet the scientist wants Aya anyway. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but all you need to know is that Saki and the scientist are bad and Aya is the hero. Aya wants to kill Saki because she murdered their father, and Saki hates Aya due to jealousy. Most of the movie they are simply fighting zombies until Aya tracks down the laboratory of the scientist, kills his minions, and then kills Saki in an epic showdown. The end.

There are so many small gripes that they add up into one giant mess of a film. Aya is clad in a bikini and cowgirl hat as she fights zombies and Saki is in a classic schoolgirl getup--how do you not make that work?! The zombies are inconsistent and pointless since the real threat appears to be Saki. The scientist dies like a little bitch to Aya's comic relief sidekick which is pathetic. Speaking of which, they throw in a dramatic flair--yeah, drama--rather than a humorous approach to the material. For example, the sidekick is whiny about his sister, who turns out to be a huge Gogo ripoff from "Kill Bill," and Aya is constantly moping about her dead father. There's a random sex scene which connects to nothing and really stands out since nothing like this happens anywhere else. The dialogue is lame, but should have been ridiculous in a good way. I don't know how else to explain that they simply do not exploit their own material when it was ripe for the pickings! Where are the camp and cornball scenes at? Why did they try to present the story seriously when it is impossible for the viewer to look at this setup and characters as serious? If you're expecting anything in terms of the splatterfest and over the top offerings Japan is known for, this is most certainly going to disappoint.

With all that said, it isn't a complete waste. The ladies are all beautiful, sexy, and scantily clad. I was waiting until this moment to bring up a character they come across named Reiko, played by Manami Hashimoto. Oh...my...god...that is one insanely beautiful woman! I mean, god damn! I've seen a lot of hot chicks in recent years, but Ms. Hashimoto is easily one of the best. I wish she could have played Aya, but you can't have everything I suppose. Other than the ladies completely enthralling you, the fight scenes aren't too bad, and the final fight between Aya and Saki is commendable if not dragging a bit. If done in a different way, this could have been a good film, but eh, wasted potential seems to be the way I describe the majority of movies I watch--good ideas but horrid execution.

Overall, I would say this film falls under the mediocre category. They missed the chance to make the film fun in favor of pointless drama and odd script decisions. It really isn't that hard to make an entertaining film out of a bikini cowgirl fighting hordes of zombies led by a mad scientist and his schoolgirl minion. Instead, you have a cheap film that feels stupid instead of so bad it's good. At the same time, the ladies are almost worth lending your time for a view...especially to see that goddess Ms. Hashimoto. If you've played the games, this probably will be worth your time, and maybe if you're a fan of those over the top splatterfests I've mentioned, you just need to understand what you're getting yourself into.

Notable Moment: When Aya and Saki finally face off. The fight itself makes little sense, but it was kind of cool for what it was.

Final Rating: 4.5/10

The devastatingly sexy Ms. Hashimoto!