Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: A man escapes from a mental institution on Halloween in order to seek revenge on his wife.
Review: I know I said "Hack-O-Lantern" was the worst Halloween horror movie so far, but I'm changing that already. What the hell was this? I have yet to read anything mentioning whether or not this was a halfhearted parody or am I to take this film completely serious? Besides being a blatant "Halloween" ripoff, it turns into self-mockery at multiple parts. That had to be intentional, right? Right?! Well, whether or not the attempts at humor were intentional or not, this movie blows stale candy chunks. Calling this boring would be a gross understatement as nothing happens until the last 15 minutes or so; and even then it's still stupid. Characters are written out and useless to begin with, there are a ton of loose ends, and the attempt at a final twist was hilariously retarded. This is the second time I've brought this up, but the actual best part for me is simply the shitty VHS quality making it feel more nostalgic. Other than that facet, this film offers nothing of interest unless you consider seeing scenes of kids trick or treating late at night as a reminder of better times when parents were not little bitches. For the love of fuck people, trick or treating should start when it gets dark...not when it ends!
The film begins with some guy getting his ass 302'd (forcibly institutionalized). I guess he's supposed to be our Michael Myers, but there doesn't appear to be any reason why he's locked up. This entire scene is embarrassingly bad and overacted; the first 10 minutes in general are especially bad. Years later, there's something with a babysitter coming to take care of the guy's house on Halloween along with watching his brat. The implication is that the wife had the man committed so she could take his money and date a magician or whatever. Honestly, none of this matters since these characters disappear for the majority of the film. Same with the babysitter having drama with her dumb boyfriend who serves no purpose. The babysitter also has a friend who works as a film editor and we get a mindless tangent with that friend who ends up as one of the few kills. Considering this movie jokes about how editing is more important than a director, it's rather poetic that this film is a fucking mess.
The little brat keeps performing elaborate pranks on the babysitter throughout the night, and, like an idiot, she keeps falling for them each time. These dumbass gags comprise a good portion of the film and get old fast. While this is happening, the killer escapes from the mental institution with ease as he dresses up like a nurse; the film thinks it's being funny by making everyone the killer runs into call him ma'am. For some inexplicable reason, the killer keeps calling his house (since they didn't bother to change the number), and is never confused by the babysitter's voice not being that of his wife. Blah blah blah, the killer sneaks into his house and tries to kill the babysitter while ignoring the fact that she's not his wife. The brat had a guillotine, that was apparently a real one, and they somehow get the killer's head into it and he dies. Then we get a final zinger of the brat trying to stab the babysitter. Wow, what a buildup. If it weren't for the random set of tits, this would have been better as a Disney special.
This movie was terrible! I mean, let's face it, a lot of these Halloween-themed movies have been trash, but they all had something going for them. This film, on the other hand, is torturously boring with a ton of filler and unexplained subplots. I hate having to break a movie up into multiple viewings, but this was more than I could tolerate to sit through. If you're adding all these movies to your Halloween viewing list this year, just do yourself a favor and hand this one out to a trick or treater; you'd be better off watching "Halloween III" on loop all day.
Notable Moment: The first 10 minutes, as painful as they are, should be enough to decide whether or not to torture yourself any further.
Final Rating: 3/10
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