Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: Ricky continues his killing spree after being awakened from a coma by a girl with psychic powers.
Review: My goodness this was torture. While part two was amusingly bad, this followup is just plain terrible and boring as fuck. I fell asleep twice, and that is something noteworthy; only the "House of Wax" remake put me to sleep more times. How anyone could rate this film beyond a 5/10 blows my mind. The kills are lame and fail to capture the brutality of the original. The Christmas aspect felt tacked on which is dumb for a franchise based around a killer Santa; by the way, Ricky doesn't even put on the Santa outfit this time. You'd think shitty movies like this would practically write themselves, but I guess not.
The main character is some blind Jedi named Laura. While the Jedi are cool, Laura is a total bitch and not likable at all; plus, she is trying too hard to look like Jennifer Connelly. For whatever asinine reason, a doctor is using her psychic powers to look inside Ricky's comatose mind. Once again, why would anyone be doing shit like this on Christmas Eve? Ricky, played by Bill Moseley this time around, has suffered wounds inconsistent with part two and is fitted with a dumb bowl of jello on his head. He's also not funny anymore and walks around like some invincible Frankenstein's monster regardless of muscle atrophy. Conveniently enough, this psychic connection has awakened Ricky to the point that when he sees a guy dressed as Santa he snaps. Instead of dressing in the guy's Santa outfit, Ricky decides to stick with the hospital gown. Good choice--nothing like your bare ass flapping in the wind.
Laura and her brother are going to grandma's for Christmas, and Ricky manages to successfully hitchhike ahead of them. That's a good one. Dispensing with grandma, who also appears to be a Jedi master of bullshit, Ricky pointlessly waits around. The scariest part of the film was seeing Laura's brother in the bath--that hairy, Chewbacca-looking mother fucker. There is a moment of sheer, shitacular editing that was pitiful to behold: the brother and his girlfriend go out looking for grandma, then they're at the house talking to Laura, then back looking for grandma, then back again at grandma's house. Uhhh...I guess you could dream up a scenario that explains this, but I think the editing guy fell asleep when I did. While this is going on, Laura's doctor teams up with a detective to hunt down Ricky. Something you will notice about this film is that there is a whole lot of talking and yet no one is saying anything interesting.
Idiotically, the doctor steals the detective's car while said detective tried to take a piss on the side of the road. Really? It's okay though, the doctor finds grandma's house and Ricky kills him almost immediately. Ricky manages to kill the brother and his girlfriend, and, for some reason, Laura doesn't care too much. However, Laura is bothered when she touches Ricky's bowl of jello and screams like a baby. Grandma's force ghost appears and tells Laura to use the force which translates into holding out a piece of wood for Ricky to idiotically fall onto. That detective manages to show up, god knows how, and they clean up this mess. Once more, Laura seems overjoyed that everyone is dead as Ricky's force ghost wishes us all a happy New Year. That's a powerful ending.
I know it sounds like I'm exaggerating the stupidity of this film, but, I assure you, I'm realistically downplaying the overall idiocy. The gore is few and far between, there are long and boring scenes of dialogue, the characters are unlikable and annoying, and this doesn't feel like a Christmas movie at all. In fairness, the film's title did warn us to watch out for this shit. Supposedly this was put together in four months, and that makes perfect sense. Now I have the creeping suspicion parts 4 and 5 will be even worse.
Notable Moment: Oh there are too many moments. I guess the absolute worst is when Laura is talking to the ghost of the grandma, and it's essentially a conversation between Luke and Obi-wan about the force.
Final Rating: 3/10
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