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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Silent Night, Deadly Night Review


Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!

Plot Summary: After many traumatic Christmas experiences, including the murder of his parents, a man goes on a killing spree dressed as Santa.

Review: You may recall I reviewed the remake/reboot, "Silent Night," a couple years ago, but here is the original in all it's jolly glory. I'll do an updated review for the remake too, but we're going to take a look at the whole franchise first. I actually never saw parts 2-5, so this will be new to me, but my expectations are about as low as I could feasibly make them; I'm well aware of the reputation these sequels have. As many may be aware, part one was controversial for it's killer Santa concept despite it not being the first film to implement such an idea. For whatever reason, a lot of people boycotted the film and eventually had it removed from theaters. Watching it again, I don't see anything really controversial. Then again...I did watch this movie as a child in the '80s, and I wasn't bothered back then either. Hmm...

I think it's safe to say this film leans on the nurture side of the nature vs. nurture debate considering everything the main character goes through. The film opens with a young boy named Billy visiting his crazy grandfather on Christmas Eve. Uhh, okay. Where does this movie take place again? Oh right, Oblivion, Utah. The weirdo grandfather appears to be catatonic, but, when the parents leave Billy alone, the grandfather tries to scare Billy with the notion that Santa will punish him. That's okay, I'm confident the rest of this night will be uneventful. Oh shit, nope, a guy dressed as Santa ends up murdering Billy's parents and semi-molesting that milfy mom before she dies. For whatever reason, they never address what became of this killer Santa as they cut to Billy and his brother being raised in an orphanage. Even though they know how traumatized Billy was from seeing the murders, the main nun that runs the place tries to force Billy to confront his fears of Santa and Christmas. Shockingly, this has the opposite reaction. Things are made worse when Billy comes across two people fucking that end up being beaten for the act. Billy is also beaten later and tied up. Sounds legit.

As an adult, Billy is conveniently set up with a job at a toy store. Okay, really, are these nuns trying to make this guy snap on purpose? At least there are some pretty cool toys in the background like "Star Wars," "G.I. Joe," and "Masters of the Universe." Umm, can I work here too? After one of the corniest '80s montages ever, Billy-boy starts to act crazier as Christmas approaches. Things are made worse when the store owner makes Billy dress up as Santa. Keep in mind, this asshole appears to know about the murder of Billy's parents. During a Christmas party, the girl Billy-boy likes decides she wants to hook up with the unnecessarily added douche. Conveniently, this douche reenacts that milf molestation from earlier, and Billy flies off the handle. Killing the douche, Billy-boy's crush is not impressed so Billy has to put her down as well. You do not toy with the emotions of Santa, hun. This leads Billy-boy to the conclusion he must turn into a killer Santa and punish all the naughty people. Might as well, right?

The way Billy picks his victims was a bit questionable, but he makes sure to always throw in a line about them being naughty. He even kills Linnea Quigley for going topless. Come to think of it, every chick that dies in this movie dies topless! I do want to mention a guy dies from being thrown through a window. Finally, a film understands what really happens when you go flying through glass! The idiotic cops then realize Billy-boy's rampage will end at the orphanage somehow. Sure enough, Billy shows up to kill the main nun, but he is shot to death before he can ax her a question (see what I did there). The film then ends with Billy-boy's brother, Ricky, seemingly turning evil.

In the end, I don't get what all the fuss was about. I liked the ambient music with the heavy synthesizers; although, I had never heard of the bullshit Christmas songs they appeared to invent for this movie. Making the film from the killer's perspective, while simultaneously making him sympathetic, was a unique spin for the time. The ladies aren't too bad for the era, but, admittedly, they could have used some Ellen Wong action. The kills are also pretty good, but, keep in mind, there are multiple edits of this film floating around. There may be a lot of cornball moments to this film, but it's a surprisingly decent slasher. Parts 2-5, here we come!

Notable Moment: When those dumb bullies get killed sledding. This is easily one of the most outlandish scenarios I could possibly imagine. Not only do two random kids decide to go sledding Christmas Eve night for no apparent reason, but, the exact spot they do this, two bullies just happen to show up with the same idea?! Right. AND Billy stumbles upon them as well? Come the fuck on, man. The characters even make note of how implausible this is!

Final Rating: 6/10

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