Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: A small town is tormented by a killer Santa that is targeting those on his naughty list.
Review: Now we come to the end of the line with the remake, or, I guess, it's more of a reboot than anything. I don't know if we could call this a faithful remake, but I can appreciate the modern approach to the killer Santa. In truth, only a handful of events from the original are recreated, and the two plots have little in common. While the original focused on the troubled life of Billy-boy, and was told from his perspective, this film centers around the police trying to catch the killer. At this stage in horror, we've seen the killer Santa concept multiple times--so this film offset that issue by providing a gory splatterfest as a Christmas treat. Carnage candy as Randy would say. Considering that they included one of the most painful deaths I've seen, I think this film accomplished exactly what it was striving toward.
This time around, it's Christmas Eve and the story kicks things off with the killer Santa already hard at work; his opening victim is one of the few cops in town. Speaking of which, why does this town only have four cops total? Even Oblivion, Utah, from the original film had more cops. Anyway, they try to keep the identity of the killer a mystery which doesn't fully work and makes no apparent sense. We are introduced to the main character, Aubrey, who is another cop, and there's something about her husband being dead...I don't know. Malcolm McDowell plays the sheriff in this over the top, been watching too many police movies, kind of way; it's funny with him trying to deliver one-liners and make each thing he says sound important and/or cool. Of course the best part for me is the dispatcher, Brenda, played by the beautiful, yet underutilized, Ellen Wong. I get the impression Ms. Wong auditioned for the Aubrey role, but, even if she didn't, I would have liked to see her in the lead position. I don't care if she's the only Asian in this, middle of nowhere, town! While on the topic, I would really like to see Ms. Wong get more work--in horror if I may suggest--because there's no way in hell I'm watching the fucking "Carrie Diaries."
As I mentioned in my first review, there are a bunch of red herrings, for whatever reason, used as padding. This direction for the story doesn't fit well since we already know the people we meet will not be the killer. Regardless, the main two red herrings are some asshole who hates Christmas and a drug dealer. I do like the guy who hates Christmas since he brings up poignant truths about the holiday's sad state as well as the complete commercialization. Plus, he addresses the reason why depression and suicide are higher during this time of year. It's really quite fascinating if you look into the legitimate research based on holiday depression and couple that with the materialism and spoiled brat mentality of society. Wait, am I the killer Santa? While the police are twiddling their thumbs trying to figure out what's happening, the killer Santa is crossing more names off the naughty list. I did like that they killed a bratty teenage girl, but they could have gone balls to walls and killed a kid. Come on, don't wimp out.
At one point, the killer Santa goes to a hotel where he kills a bunch of idiots trying to shoot the worst amateur porn. This is the scene everyone remembers from this film as it's extremely brutal. One girl, played by Cortney Palm, ends up having her leg cut off and then she is shoved into a woodchipper feet first! Oh, what a way to go. I rarely defend a character from death in a slasher, but she shouldn't have been the one to meet that kind of fate. Shortly after this, the killer Santa kills the town priest, the mayor, and the mayor's horny daughter and brain-dead boyfriend while the cops are busy chasing those red herrings. Eventually Aubrey realizes that the Santa chose his victims ahead of time and sent them lumps of coal. This leads to Aubrey discovering her father's dead body and the sheriff gets torched with a flamethrower. Due to shenanigans, Brenda hides while one of the red herring Santas fights with the killer. Aubrey catches up and fights the killer Santa which includes an axe duel. Even though the sprinkler is going off and there is water everywhere, Aubrey thinks she kills the Santa with his own flamethrower. As you'd easily guess, the killer gets away. The film ends with the killer recollecting to his childhood when Aubrey's father killed another killer Santa--that past killer Santa was the killer's father. Ehh...at least Brenda lived.
They definitely missed an opportunity to tie this film into the original franchise. At least have a cameo from any original actor. Hell, that pointless scene with the catatonic grandpa could have been the perfect bit role for a cameo! Oh well, at least the nurse there was hot. They did, however, include a GARBAGE DAY reference so there's that. Overall, this isn't too bad of a movie; it's definitely better than all the sequels combined. While it's undoubtedly cheesy and shallow, the film accomplished it's goal of creating an entertaining slasher to watch while sitting around the fire and decorating your tree. You know, good ol' fashion family fun. The gore is great and the film never overstays its welcome. However, if I had to choose between the remake and the original...hmm...I'll give the edge to this one due to Ms. Wong; to each their own though. One last thing...did any film in this franchise ever even play the song, "Silent Night?!"
Notable Moment: I'm still sticking with the woodchipper scene. That poor girl did not deserve such a horrific death.
Final Rating: 6/10
Ms. Wong with that sexy little smirk on her face. See you under the mistletoe, my dear!
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