Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: After a mysterious woman gives birth at their home, a family adopts the woman's hellspawn as their own.
Review: Hey...hey, god, you there? Umm, god...I think you left us a shitty movie here by mistake. I'm just going to send this piece of shit back, okay? This godforsaken film is based on a book, that there is certainly no chance in hell I will ever be reading, but maybe it was better than this monstrosity. I honestly read some reviews on imdb claiming this movie was scary. SCARY?! The only thing scary in this movie is that red headed kid's afro. Oh, that's a good one, imdb--you guys are too much. This movie is painfully boring and a shameless ripoff of "The Omen" to boot. Ughhh. I think it's safe to say this is the worst of the horror marathon's first DVD by far.
I think they had enough material here for, maybe, a half hour TV show...if they're lucky. All that happens is some dumbass family decides to hang out with a weirdo they meet in the middle of nowhere-land. This woman is pregnant and conveniently gives birth that night. She then disappears, leaving the family stuck with the brat. Being the kind English lads they are, they take in the brat as if having four kids already wasn't enough. The brat's motives are vague, at best, and make no sense for the most part. She wants the love of the parents for herself, is seemingly demonic, but they never explain her origin or her goals. The brat kills off the other four kids (technically five) throughout the film, but it's spread out over the course of, something along the lines of, a decade. Wow, talk about taking your sweet ass time to seal the deal. That has to be one of the most inefficient villains of all time. On top of that, the brat lacks any kind of presence or dread you could feel oozing out of Damien for example. The movie also seems to think awkward slow motion zoom-ins make a character appear scary; well, that and vaseline wiped all over the lens. As for the deaths, they are all either off screen, and lame, or hilariously funny like the last daughter to die; picture that pathetically infamous scene in "Mac and Me." As with "The Omen," it's the father who begins to suspect something is not right and tries to get rid of the brat and later kill her. The father was making me laugh when he was trying to rationalize with his wife about why she can't see through the brat's manipulation. Then he quickly gave up and was like get out my way "you stupid woman!" Too funny. The ending of this film is ridiculously stupid as well. Like...one of the worst...ever. I can't emphasize the idiocy enough. The brat is saved from the dad by some old man, then the mom shows up and says she loves the kid anyway, and the screen goes blinding white followed by black and white shots. We are suddenly shown a shot of the father and a doctor walking in a park when he sees the brat's true mom trying to pass another kid to a new family. Magically he loses sight of the woman despite her being directly in front of him. The end. Really? That's how you end this madness? Man, fuck you!
From start to finish this film is terrible. While there may have been an initial sense of tension, that disappears quickly and the story never offers anything else to compensate. There are no twists, revelations, or anything else you would expect or hope to see; essentially, nothing is explained or even really hinted at as to why this is occurring. The story is boring and entails nothing but talking about the most recent kid to die with almost no emotional reaction from the parents despite losing all their kids. The scenes are often incoherent, as if there have been heavy edits, and it's exasperated by the vaseline smeared all over the lens in every other shot. The father's acting was okay, but everyone else was pretty much shit. I don't know how else to sum it up other than to once again refer to it as an uninspired ripoff. Simply pitiful.
Notable Moment: The entire last 10 minutes or so need to be seen to be believed.
Final Rating: 3.5/10
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