Disclaimer: Contains spoilers!
Plot Summary: After moving into a new home, a guy believes he is being stalked by a homeless man in the area.
Review: I'm going to do something special for the next 8 reviews so hold onto your butts. I will be covering these two DVD collections from "Shout! Factory" called "All Night Horror Marathon." These sets include four movies each that are of--how shall I say--questionable quality. The movies included are such wonderful and timeless gems like "What's the Matter with Helen," "The Godsend," "The Outing," "The Dungeonmaster," "Cellar Dweller," "Contamination .7," "Catacombs," and, of course, this film, "The Vagrant." Uhh...yeah...let those titles sink in a bit; this is going to be interesting. Of this lot, I've only ever watched "Cellar Dweller" before, and it didn't leave a good impression to say the least. Who knows, maybe we will have a few pleasant surprises! Anyway, I figured the most fitting film to kick this ordeal off would be "The Vagrant" as that's the name of this blog. Oh wait, isn't my google name villainsrule? But then who the hell is this Ryan guy? I'm so confused!
All I can say about this movie is what the fuck did I just watch? I was having nightmarish flashbacks to watching the "Ice Cream Man" or something. Oh man...the early 90s and horror just do not go together. It's like, what on earth were they thinking in those days? To be fair, this movie doesn't necessarily take itself seriously, but it should at least make some semblance of sense, right? And why the hell is Bill Paxton starring in this movie?! Come the fuck on, Hicks! Oh, sorry, Hudson...he's Hicks.
Mr. Paxton plays the most pathetic yuppie in the world, named Graham, as he decides to purchase a home in order to dodge banging some horny real estate girl. Whaaat...am I missing something? Shortly after moving in, Graham discovers a homeless man--whom Graham strangely calls the vagrant--sneaking into his house at night. Graham is unsettled by the vagrant, because he has a grotesque appearance and a sasquatch-esque demeanor. It doesn't take long for Graham to become unhinged as he is obsessively paranoid about the vagrant's agenda to screw with him. He tries to call the police frequently, but they are only interested if the vagrant is pissing in public for whatever reason. Funny...I guess? Graham's best friend and wannabe girlfriend notice how crazy he is behaving, but they are weirdos themselves. Eventually people start to get killed as the vagrant tries to make Graham appear to be the guilty party. The police begin to think Graham is making up the vagrant to get away with his crimes as he becomes more implicated and later arrested after that same horny real estate lady turns up dead.
After Graham is exonerated for the crimes, the film suddenly shifts gear as he travels the country looking for a new place to stay. He ends up becoming the manager at a trailer park but begins to think he and the vagrant may be the same person. Throughout the film, Graham has been having weird dreams with the vagrant--that border on homo-erotic--while also experiencing missing time and confusion. With his sanity in question, Graham inadvertently becomes fuck buddies with some chick just as more killings start up. You know, for a guy who's supposed to be a big bitch, he sure gets a lot of ladies...must be that sexy mullet. Graham, of course, has to then run away again to escape the vagrant. Wow, talk about stretching this film out for the full 90 minutes. Was there even a point to moving into this trailer park other than to kill time? Finally, after traveling to god knows where, Graham discovers the vagrant has been hiding in his car as the two begin a final showdown. The cops, that believed Graham was always the killer, just happen to be tracking him idiotically as he fights the vagrant. We learn some bullshit about the vagrant being a doctor or psychologist, or whatever, as he was trying to do an experiment on Graham to change his personality. I have no idea! One of those cops that followed Graham ends up dead and the other kills the vagrant in a lackluster defeat. The film ends with Graham moving into a new house as they imply he's still crazy.
Suffice it to say, this movie is weird. Nothing makes sense or gets a proper explanation, but I suppose that was part of the comedic aspects. It's not blatantly terrible, but it is an undeniable mess that is full of near-overwhelming levels of stupidity and odd decisions. I felt the overall experience was mediocre, but I'm used to the shittacular nature present in early '90s horror films. You also need a proper understanding of how these weird horror/comedies work. At the same time, I can imagine a cult following behind a story as bizarre as this especially with the corny overacting and rarity to the film itself. Let's just say this is an extremely acquired taste as far as horror films in general are concerned. Eh, perhaps check it out just to see Hudson losing his mind. And by the way, his acting was better in this movie than in "Titanic" and "Twister" combined! Yeah, I went there.
Notable Moment: Maybe when Graham keeps having those weird, semi-erotic dreams about the vagrant. Seriously, what the fuck? Was that intentional, subtly intended, or was the vagrant simply channeling his role from Freddy 2?!
Final Rating: 5/10
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